Asher's First Birthday Party!!

>> April 9, 2009

Asher turned a year on April 2nd.  We did a couple birthday things then (of which I will post next) but we had an actual birthday Party on Saturday with some cousins (several times removed, but who's counting. Family is family!).  I thought pictures would tell the story best:

He got quite the haul.  Far more than I expected, Jeff and I only got him a couple things.  Good thing, too, he was pretty bored with unwrapping stuff by the time we got to some of the clothes and the video. (It's okay, that stuff is more for Mommy anyway)  So, Thank You everyone!


This was my favourite part.  Not because it was cake, because honestly I made a better one, but because it was an awesome Pirate Cake. 
 

And here's Daddy in his paper pirate hat!


I picked up a little frog pool and put some balls in it for the kids.  Asher was especially grateful as he is still not really diggin' the grass.


He and his cousin had great fun throwing the balls out onto the grass.


Here's his other cousin all decked out for the wonderfully sunny day.



The boys had fun taking turns on Asher's new tricycle.  That bar on the back for Mom to push is absolutely brilliant.


Finished off afternoon with bubbles!!


Then inside for more cake.  We learned our lesson earlier and just gave him little bits of cake to eat with no icing.  He enjoyed it much more this time.


A little dazed after all that sugar.


It was nice to see Asher's toys being enjoyed by all the boys.


Getting to know the uncle-type cousins (technically everyone's cousins just removed to different degrees, I think we'll just avoid the confusion and call them aunts and uncles).



The aftermath.  I figure the bigger the mess, the better the time was had by all.  By the looks of things we all had a very good time.

So now my little man is a whole year old.  On the one hand I can't believe how time has flown and it must have been just yesterday that I was checking into the hospital not a mom, only to check out again a few days later, A Mom...and on the other hand, I can't quite remember what life was like before Asher was in it, he must have been here forever (I know it sure feels like I haven't slept through an entire night forever).  It seems like he has very suddenly grown up over the last couple of weeks.  Taking the stairs like a pro, eating more by himself, figuring things out very intently, throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way, all kinds of fun stuff.  I look at his cousins, one two months older and one a year older and I can't grasp how much he's going to grow up in the next few months.  It's not that I want him to slow down, because I'm excited about seeing him discover so much more of the world, but I'm just worried that I won't be able to keep up, that I'm going to keep treating him like my baby boy and forget that he's very quickly leaving babyhood behind.  I have so appreciated the various mom blogs I've been following lately (C. Beth, Lisa, Liz, Christy, Maya's Mom, Anna, RR and Sci-fi Mama to name a few) and I'm always looking for more.  I love the little peeks at what's coming and also some of the insights into where I'm at as some of these mom's have little one's within a few weeks of Asher.  

I have more rambling around in my brain but it will have to come out later.  DH is waiting on the couch with some popcorn and Supernatural.  Aaaah, relaxation.

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What do you do?

>> April 7, 2009

A blog I follow had this post today.  As I was reading through the comments I was struck by something. We keep referring to motherhood as a job. I agree with what Rachel said in her comment, a job is something you get paid for, get time off from, go to and go home from, can change if you want. 

I think it's part of the Western culture to find our definition in what we 'do'. "What do you do?" "I'm a doctor/lawyer/secretary/janitor." "Oooh." We hear what someone 'does' and make decisions about who they are as people.  We feel defined by our jobs and so as mothers, especially stay-at-home-mothers, there is this desire to make sure people understand that we still 'do' something, that we have value, that we are still contributing to society. 

A friend was speaking at church last mother's day and she brought up some website that calculates what you're 'worth' on the job market.  There was an entry for Mother and several aspects that that entailed, cook, laundress, chauffeur, etc.  Of course it comes up with something in the $250,000 per annum range.  At first she was, like Beth, nodding her agreement, thinking "That's right, I am worth all that."  Then it struck her, that this was putting a price tag on what it was to be a mother.  That the only way we know how to value something is to put a monetary value on it.  To call it 'The hardest job in the world'.  After realizing that, it kind of offended her.  

I was about to go off on a diatribe about putting a price on a child's laugh, etc. and I realized that that's not even the point I want to make.  It's that we feel we need to that I find a bit sad.  How does the saying go?  The best things in life are free.  That statement means something completely new to me today.  It's not that they're 'free', it's that their worth, their value, has no monetary equivalent.  I have to admit, I'm having trouble saying all that's going on in my head because it's like I don't have the vocabulary to express it without referring to what we automatically associate with money.  It's not like these free things don't cost us.  Being a mother is very costly, but you could never pay someone else to do the job for you.  Take heart in that all you mom's who also have jobs, no matter how great a nanny or caretaker you have, even if it's a relative, even if it's Grandma, even if it's Daddy, they can never be Mom.  Being a nanny, that's a tough job, I've done it, I would think long and hard about doing it again.  But it's just a job.  It is so far from being a Mom.  

I have to admit, I'm finding this a little paradigm-shifting and somewhat freeing.  I always feel a little awkward when someone asks me what I do.  I've said 'stay-at-home-mom', 'domestic-engineer', I've even pointed at my son and said, 'Him, full time'.  It was very witty to me at the time.  Now I think I will have to say "Nothing" and let them be as puzzled as they want to be.  If they clarify that I'm a SAHM or whatever, I think I may have to share a little about how I don't see that as my job or what I 'do' but simply it is my life.  In my life, I have a husband, I have a son, I feel that I am blessed to not have a job.  I am looking forward to settling into our new life here in Oxford, to getting some projects done and taking on new volunteer work, but I think I will no longer feel the need to put "Housewife" or "SAHM" in the occupation sections of forms.  I can be confident that I am a contributing member of society, I am not a lay-about, I have value that is not limited to being defined by what I do.  I have no job.  It frees me up to spend a lot more time with my son and my husband.  

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Happy Birthday my Son

>> April 2, 2009

I cannot even wrap my mind around the fact that I. have. a. son.  Let alone that he is now passing out of babyhood and into toddlerhood with the advent of his birthday.  I will no longer be restrained by months when answering that ever-present question, And how old is he?  I'm sure I'll fall back on it at times as I still hear so many other moms referring to 16 months or 21 months, but I can if I choose, say, He's 1 now.  Wow.  


These last few days I have found myself reflecting on his birth day, remembering the order of events, who was there, what was happening, but all through a bit of a haze.  They say that's there so you will actually want to have more kids, but I don't remember thinking at the time This is horrible, I'm never doing this again.  In fact I'm pretty sure I was already looking forward to the next one long before the pain subsided (which, in my case, due to unforseen complications was about 12 weeks later).  

Even in the midst of my most sleepless nights and days of feeling like I was going to lose my mind from the weariness, I wouldn't have given it up for anything.  Not only would I have not given it up, but I couldn't wait to do it again.  I have to admit, with a bit of regret and even shame, that I was so focussed on having another that there were times when I forgot to just stop and enjoy my son.  Thanks to a conversation with my mom a few weeks ago, my time with Asher lately has been so much richer as I just remembered to revel in the blessing that he is.

So now he is a whole year old!  We had a kind of all day Birthday Celebration.  We skyped with the Godparents, Titi Mary and Tio Eddie, and Grandma and Oma and even Titi Myrna!  We opened Grandma's presents with her and went for a ride on his new tricycle and skipped his afternoon nap (I think he figured since he was One now, he didn't have to have a nap) and tried to eat the cake that I baked (we all succeeded but he wasn't such a big fan).  All in all we had really wonderful day of being thankful for Asher.  I started this blog this morning while he was sleeping and have added to it little by little all day but kept getting pulled away to take part in the joy of this day and now it is late, I am exhausted, I even had half a beer to celebrate.  So I am going to go to bed, a little in awe that tomorrow I will still have. a. son.  He will have been mine for a whole year and he's apparently not going anywhere.  How cool is that!?  I know I've said this before, but really, truly, pictures are coming.  


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A Fortnight

>> March 28, 2009

I cannot believe it has been so long.  Is anyone still there?  If you are I apologize for my absence.  In my defense, there has been a lot going on.  Janet was here for a week.  We survived all our driving around.  Yes, we all survived and yes, I did get lost a few more times, but we always had great adventures.  There will be stories and pictures shortly.


The day that Janet left, Jeff, Asher, and I headed for Cambridge for 4 days for a conference.  We stayed in a lovely little B&B and Asher and I took long naps and spent our afternoons wandering the city.  I even got to do a bit of shopping.  I'll post pictures and stories soon.

Did I mention there's been a lot going on here?  Between dropping Janet at the airport and leaving for Cambridge our boxes arrived.  Most of the floor space of our living room and all of Asher's nursery were completely covered in boxes.  (Yes, I'll share pictures of that, too)  Which of course I had to leave behind to go to Cambridge.  I practically itched to get at them.  I got a good two days of unpacking in once we returned before my neck made it too painful to move my head let alone boxes.  It's still kinked but will hopefully be better in time for me to finish getting the house ready for Asher's birthday party next Saturday.  

Asher did quite well being out as much as we were, but he didn't really get a chance to kick his cold so it's now going on past it's third week. I think it's finally on its way out though.  At least I sure hope so, there has not been a lot of sleep in this house lately.  He has also been teething, what seems like all the rest of his teeth at once, if his drool, chewing, and crankiness are any indication.  We're getting ready for his 1st Birthday!  Yay!  Stories and pictures, of course, will follow.

I am finally kicking my cold (thank goodness) and Jeff has caught his first UK cold.  Unfortunately it has hit him much harder than it did us.  Of course now that I am finally not sick, something had to happen. I have twisted my neck and flared up an old whiplash injury.  I didn't think it was too bad at first but it's now three days of considerable pain and I am not a happy camper.  And it couldn't have come at a worse time.  But don't we always say that.  Don't worry, this is it for that story and there are no pictures.

So that's the fortnight in a nutshell.  There are several things I want to expound on and I hope to do so over the next few days, but you'll forgive me if I don't always make it.  The pain in my neck has taken the writing of this blog from a few minutes to two hours.  And now that my warm rice sock is no longer very warm and it's time for my next dose of pills and my nice warm bed.

Goodnight.

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Life in the Left Lane

>> March 8, 2009

Well, I have now driven on three different continents.  Granted in Africa it was once, and probably very badly, but to be fair the truck was almost twice as old as I was.  At least it looked like it was.  This time, the car was considerably newer and I did a much better job.   Coincidence?  I just don't know.

No, we haven't bought a car.  I know you were all wondering.  We joined Streetcar.  It's kind of like ZipCar in the US.  It's a car-sharing program.  You pay a yearly membership fee and you can take one of the several cars around town for an hour or a few days.  Significantly more economical for the hour.  We're pretty excited about this because there have been several times when we wished we had a car for just a couple hours to do a big grocery shop or get to a larger shopping centre and now we have a way to do that without having the expense of renting for a whole day.

So, my friend Janet is coming out to visit next week.  We are renting a car to do some toodling around.  Very exciting.  But I didn't want my first time driving here to be on my way to London's Heathrow airport with Asher and no Jeff.  Perfect way to test out our new Streetcar membership.  

Sadly there are no pictures as I was a bit too shaky to take any.  I was very happy to find that driving a manual transmission is a skill that comes back very quickly.  The only thing that was a bit awkward was of course that the stick was on the left side. Thank goodness the peddles are still in the right order.  I only stalled the car once.  Technically the car stalled twice, but I'm fairly certain that God did it the second time.  See, He knew I was about to turn down a one way street and I didn't.  And the brakes work great.  There are these little mini-roundabouts that you don't see until you're broadsiding the car turning right in front of you.  

That was the toughest part, the part that left me a little weak in the knees after an hour of driving around getting used to things.  Not the stick-shift, not even driving on the left side, it was the signs, or lack thereof.  There aren't always signs where you expect them and half the time you don't actually know what the sign means, so while you're busy trying to figure it out, you suddenly find yourself on the motorway with no idea where you're going or how to get out of the roundabout up ahead.

Well, I managed to not get lost, not drive down the wrong roads or the wrong lanes, not hit anything or anyone, and not get honked at (but only because it was a very gracious person behind me at the time).  I came home after an hour just to let my nerves settle a bit.  We had supper and then headed out to an evening service at the local vineyard church.  I did feel much better that time for having had the practice.  

Now we just have to see how Asher and I survive picking up Janet on Friday.  It's his naptime so he should sleep the whole way there.  *Please, God, let him sleep the whole way there.*

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London. Finally. *Warning - this is long (but it has cool pictures)*

>> March 5, 2009

So last Saturday, we all got up with Asher at 6 (instead of the bit of a lie-in I usually get until 7) so that we could be out the door by 7:30 to give us loads of time to get to the train.  We got there stupid early, but that's fine, gave us time to chill and have a muffin.  The train ride was nice and uneventful.  I would have liked to have a forward facing seat as it's harder to enjoy the scenery going backwards, but it was fine.  Asher nursed and got a bit of nap before we got into the city.  I found it interesting how as we got closer to Paddington station, the area began to look an awful lot like the train ride from New York out to New Rochelle.

Mommy left this attached to my coat, but that's okay, I can make it work.

Some things that we noticed right off the bat.  Everything is a lot closer than you think.  I'm used to looking at maps of Chicago and what looked like very loooong blocks were in fact very short blocks.  What that means though, is that you let yourself walk a lot farther before you realize you've passed what you're looking for.  Happily though, it also means that when you think you've gone about 10 minutes too far, you've actually only gone, like, 2.  

So we went at first looking for a couple stores, and thinking that we were a ways from Picadilly circus we originally were planning to take a bus or the tube, but it was a nice morning and we thought if we walked instead we would get there around lunch time.  So 10 minutes later, we're there and it's not quite lunch time.  The restaurants aren't even open for another half hour even though we've been up since forever and are just about starving.  Oh well.  

We strolled around the circle and took pictures and stopped in a souvenir shop and got a union jack tank top for me and our first fridge magnet.  It looks so lonely.  I can't wait for our stuff to get here.  We did a totally un-London lunch:  TGIFriday's.  I know, I'm sorry, but it was kind of nice to have something familiar that we knew we liked and that was sure to have a highchair and changing table.  Don't worry, the rest of our day was nice and British.

After lunch we walked down to Trafalgar Square and did the whole touristy picture taking there.  There was a performer by the steps who was very funny and had a big crowd.  Unfortunately we missed most of his gig but were right up front for the big finale.  There were lots of people climbing all over the lions despite the sad little railing that I'm sure had at one point been put up to keep people from getting up there.  Asher loved the fountains and was greatly disappointed when we didn't let him jump into the pools.




After that we walked across the pedestrian bridge to the promenade by the water and the London Eye.  Along the promenade were tons of street perfomers.  One group of breakdancers, and the rest were either characters from history/tv or those strange silver painted people pretending to be statues.  I really don't know why this is so popular.  Some were painted silver, some were painted gold, and sure, the first time you see one you think wow, that person is standing really still, I wonder if their nose itches.  But when there are 8 dozen of them it just kind of gets boring.  There were 2 worth mentioning.  One man actually was painted up in what looked like bronze and his clothes were done really well so the folds were somewhat exaggerated and stiff.  I actually had to look to see if he was breathing or if this was a statue.  He was the only one like that and he was brilliant.  I would have given change to him if I'd had some.  The other one that was fun was the 'invisible' one.  It looked like the head and hands were invisible with this crown and glasses suspended in midair above a seated figure and no hands coming out of the cuffs.  You realize right away that the body is a bit oddly sized and shaped and that it's just a person slouched down int the clothes and the crown/glasses/etc are taped to the chair, but still, points for originality.  That is until you walk another 20 feet and realize there's another one exactly like it only painted gold instead of silver.  You get no points.  There was one other, but it was kind of sad.  It was an incredible, I would dare say authentic, Darth Vader.  His sign said, "Labourer made redundant in the London work force, trying to support my wife and two kids."  It's not an exact quote because I didn't want to take a picture of him without being able to put something in his tin.  It was a bit sad.

So then we come to the Eye.  The line to get tickets was longer than the line to get on, go figure.  I think Jeff was in the ticket office for almost 45 minutes and it took us maybe 10 to get on.  But I didn't mind, this was my whole reason for coming to London.  I know, there are far older and cooler things to see I'm sure, but for me, it was the Eye.  I want to go back now and do it at night.  Or maybe sunset.  It was an awesome view and we took a bazillion photos up there, half at least of Asher walking around the pod hanging on to the lower railing and charming the pants off all the other passengers (very embarrassing in mixed company).  I managed to not freak out too much at the height, I have a mild phobia of heights.  I got a bit nauseous in line and had to work at not hyperventilating as stepped onto the still moving pod. But it's big enough inside to not really be an issue. 

As I sat on a bench beside the Thames, looking out at Big Ben with the Eye beside us, nursing Asher, I realized how much I missed the big city.  London isn't all the skycrapers that Chicago is, but it is a big city, with all the hustle and bustle and traffic and people that that implies.  And I miss it.  I was instantly more comfortable in London that I have been in Oxford.  And it's not that Oxford isn't nice, because it is, and the people are nice and there's nice stores and good public transportation. It just...moves at the pace of a smaller town, or suburb maybe.  London has a different energy to it.  One that I miss.  

So after our stop to nurse and have a snack, oh, and change Asher in the McDonalds basement from hell, A) it was hot, B) it was crammed with people and you could barely walk let alone maneuver a pushchair [stroller], C) it was stupid hot, D) there was only one baby changing room and no place to queue [wait in line] except right behind the door which left you doing a strange dance when the door had to open and you had to change spots with the person on the other side of the door, and E) OH MY FREAK, it was hotter than the bowels of hell down there.  Anyway, after all that, we crossed over the river again to take our pictures of Big Ben and Westminster Abbey.  


By this time, I'm looking at my map thinking we have quite a ways to walk to get back to Trafalgar Square to catch a train back to Paddington so we should really get going.  And of course, 15 minutes later we're suddenly there.  I don't know that I'll ever get used to that.  Of course I'm sure I will and then I'll be back in Chicago and I'll be like, oh it's not far, lets just walk, and 2 hours later I'll realize we're still not even halfway there and I'll likely just say screw it and go home.

We got back to the train and would have been in plenty of time if it hadn't been for trying to find change to use the toilet.  That's right, 30p to use the toilet in Paddington station.  As it turns out, we needn't have searched so vigourously for exact change as the attendant was pretty much letting anyone in if you at least looked like you were trying to find it.  Nice bathroom though.  Unfortunately by the time we got to the train it was close to departure and quite full.  We found a seat for me facing forward but it was next to other people, there was a table, Jeff was sitting across from me, so we were both sitting next to someone strange.  The people next to us were irritating me, especially the guy who insisted that he and the person he was saving a seat for sit across from each other and not side by side.  I don't know why, he clearly wanted to get into her pants.

The happy part of our trip back was the other couple sitting across the aisle (the people that were sitting over there were nice and let them have their own side of the table unlike ours, but whatever).  They were also heading back home to Oxford with their 18 month old daughter.  We got to chatting and found we have quite a bit in common.  They are also crunchy, baby-wearing, breastfeeding, attachment parents.  We talked slings and cloth diapers and playgroups and what neighborhoods were the most fun (ours being on the somewhat 'bleak' end but oh well).  Asher and I were going to drop into a toddler dance/play group on Wednesday but then his ear infection happened so I'm hoping to get together with them next week.  

So all in all, it was a very good day.  We had our moments of starving long before lunchtime and trying to maneuver the bowels of hell disguised as a McDonalds and maybe I had a minor meltdown getting onto the train because it was so cramped and the seats were sucky, but we really did have a great time.  And hopefully made some friends along the way.  Granted I was pretty sore the next day and the bike ride to church just about killed me, but I'm sure I'll do it again.  Soon in fact.  My friend Janet will be here in just over a week and we'll likely do a couple days in London, we'll visit Stonehenge, we might even make it out to Cardiff the Doctor Who fans that we are.  But I've learned my lesson.  Post it right away, while it's still fresh.  Maybe even make it stretch over a couple posts.  You can always put pictures up later.

By the way, if you're still reading, A) congratulations and B) I'm really sorry the pictures are all stacked on top of each other like that, I couldn't figure out how to make them go side by side and it's now 11:49 and I'm so going to pay for staying up this late tomorrow.  And I've totally remembered like three cool things that should have gone in the story but it's too long and too late, so now I'm going to have to do a London II and by that time I'm sure I'll have gone again and will have more cool stories to tell.  Ugh.  It's now 11:51.  Good. Night.


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My little man is 11 months today!

>> March 2, 2009

Yay! Asher is just one short month away from being 1 Year Old!  So exciting I don't know what to do with myself.  Seriously, I don't, if I think to much about it I'm going to have to put my head between my knees.  This is like, epic.  Do you realize he'll soon be going off to school and getting married and having my fifth grandchild and putting me in a home just so I stop coming over at 3 in the morning to bake muffins.  I know, that's a little extreme, even for me, but I forgot to have my diet coke with lunch today so I thought I'd have it with dinner.  In retrospect, that may not have been the best idea.  Anyway, on to what we did today.


I'm hoping in lieu of London, you'll settle for a few pictures of Asher at the play center and park.  Sadly there are no pictures of Asher playing with actual children because they all left as soon as we got there.  Apparently they'd all been there since 9 but the coordinator may have just been being nice.  I'm pretty sure I remembered deodorant this morning.   


These ladybug things are weird...


Can I ride the puppy instead? (and he did, but with my help so no pictures but trust me it was uber adorable)


And then he discovered an entire wall of fun twisty-turny-spinny things.


Very serious business this, it has to be just so.


And then we stopped at the park on the way home.


Very pleased with himself.


Okay, we slid down this thing, now how do we get back up?

I just adore my little man, in case the numerous pictures I've been subjecting you all to didn't give it away.  I love watching him discover new things and interact with people and situations he's never come across before.  He is this wonderful mix of brave and cautious, outgoing and shy.  He crawled right up onto the couch beside one of the coordinators, bold as you please, and then leaned against the far arm, suddenly shy.  He never fails to win people over wherever we go.  I can't wait to see him grow into the man God has created him to be.  

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About This Blog

I love this adventure I'm on with my Rocket Scientist. The most recent addition to our expedition has me in awe daily. I can't wait to see My Little Man as a big brother. We started off by moving from Western Canada to Chicago and now we're in the UK. Will this Strange Mamma ever not feel like a stranger in the land?

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