>> April 19, 2009
For one glorious day I was pregnant. Or at least I could have been. There was a shadow of a line, a hint of pink, in the right light. I felt...well, it was surprising. I wasn't surprised, I'd been tired, feeling yucky, we'd had well-timed relations. What was surprising is that mostly, I just felt free. Free of all the stress/disappointment/anticipation. Free isn't even a good enough word. I felt...light. Dare I say, like my old self, although up until that moment I didn't realize my old self was missing. When I looked at things (things being little pink lines and shadows) objectively, I knew it wasn't really a positive, I knew I was fooling myself, but it was so easy to do, so simple to believe that I really was pregnant. Because then I didn't have to worry about it anymore, I could just get on with my day.